kitty asked me to help her with this competition. to get girls into politics. i get to be one of the guys they can go out on a date with if they win. and i know we're not dating any more. this isn't me trying to win you back or make you jealous or anything. i just wanted to make sure you'd be okay with it. because of our history?
She didn't know what she was expecting. This? Not this? Both? She stares at the message for a long moment. She lies back on her bed. She turns the idea over and over and over again in her head. What did she feel about this?
It takes her awhile, but she realizes nothing bad. Nothing negative. She wouldn't say she's over Adam in that way where she doesn't care about him anymore. But her feelings aren't caught up in a complicated knot of what's love and what's friendship and where's the line? She knows what's what. She knows love. And she knows her love for Adam.
There's a part of her heart that cinches at the idea of seeing him out with someone else, but there's a part that soars at the idea of him happy. ]
[ He starts to panic when she doesn't reply quite as fast as before. He watches the vines he keeps making start to creep to the door and has to drop a book on them to bar the way. Then he paces.
He should have talked to her in person. He shouldn't have talked to her at all. He should have said no to Kitty. It's all speeding around his head like a drag race and when his phone finally makes a sound he practically jumps out of his skin. ]
we're okay. we're always going to be okay.
[ He wishes he could have been better for her. He wishes he could have been right for her. ]
[ Part of her aches at the statement. What was it about them? Was it that she was always meant to love Gansey? That it was an inevitability that made her incapable of loving anyone else? Was it him? Would they have not worked out regardless of the Gansey factor?
She wishes none of that were true. She wishes she could have loved him the way he wanted her too. The ways she wished she could have. ]
[ He ends up flopping back on his bed, star-fished against the scratchy wool comforter while he replies.
( A part of him wonders if he'd have been able to communicate better with a cell-phone back in Henrietta, though the rest of him knows that's probably not the case either way. He's done some growing. ) ]
do you want to hang out tomorrow after work? i usually go to the forest outside de chima to do some flower stuff but we could do whatever you want. i miss hanging out with you.
[ It was probably a good thing Blue had never dated before Adam. And likely would never again. She was bad at it. And she was bad at being an ex-girlfriend too. ]
That sounds nice.
You could show me more of your powers? we could make an afternoon of it.
[ He's not doing so well at it either. He should have tried harder. But maybe they can repair some of what they had in time and maybe it won't hurt so much. ]
i'll come get you after your shift. we can walk together.
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( text. )
This sounds awkward. ]
I don't know what you're talking about. But you're right. I'd rather hear anything from you before I hear it from someone else.
( text. )
to get girls into politics.
i get to be one of the guys they can go out on a date with if they win.
and i know we're not dating any more.
this isn't me trying to win you back or make you jealous or anything.
i just wanted to make sure you'd be okay with it.
because of our history?
[ Christ, Parrish. Get it together. ]
it seems dumb now i've written it all out.
( text. )
She didn't know what she was expecting. This? Not this? Both? She stares at the message for a long moment. She lies back on her bed. She turns the idea over and over and over again in her head. What did she feel about this?
It takes her awhile, but she realizes nothing bad. Nothing negative. She wouldn't say she's over Adam in that way where she doesn't care about him anymore. But her feelings aren't caught up in a complicated knot of what's love and what's friendship and where's the line? She knows what's what. She knows love. And she knows her love for Adam.
There's a part of her heart that cinches at the idea of seeing him out with someone else, but there's a part that soars at the idea of him happy. ]
It sounds like it'll be fun.
Don't worry. We're okay.
Right?
( text. )
He should have talked to her in person. He shouldn't have talked to her at all. He should have said no to Kitty. It's all speeding around his head like a drag race and when his phone finally makes a sound he practically jumps out of his skin. ]
we're okay.
we're always going to be okay.
[ He wishes he could have been better for her. He wishes he could have been right for her. ]
i'll always care about you, blue.
( text. )
She wishes none of that were true. She wishes she could have loved him the way he wanted her too. The ways she wished she could have. ]
I care about you, Adam.
That didn't go away.
( text. )
( A part of him wonders if he'd have been able to communicate better with a cell-phone back in Henrietta, though the rest of him knows that's probably not the case either way. He's done some growing. ) ]
do you want to hang out tomorrow after work?
i usually go to the forest outside de chima to do some flower stuff but we could do whatever you want.
i miss hanging out with you.
( text. )
That sounds nice.
You could show me more of your powers? we could make an afternoon of it.
( text. )
i'll come get you after your shift.
we can walk together.
( text. )
All right. I'll meet you out front, then.
( text. )
Goodnight, Blue.