[ Adam frowns in confusion and then shakes his head, sharp. ] No --, no. It's ...
[ He jerks his chin up suddenly, because he won't be unkind, he won't be ashamed, not of this, not of who he is now. Neither Blue nor Ronan deserve him being afraid. ] It's Ronan. [ A beat. ] I'm with Ronan.
[ He does sound a little mystified though, like he's never said it out loud and he's still not sure how he got there. ]
[ He's been brave long enough, and so it's time for him to curl into himself a little, his arms across his chest. He's not afraid, not of Blue, but this is the first time he's actually talked about it. ] I knew before that he liked me, I just -- I wasn't sure how I felt about it. [ Because it's Ronan, because he's a boy and he's not the kind of boy Adam had in his world view if he ever entertained the idea. ] We talked when he wasn't here. [ During the kidnapping. ] And I kissed him after. When we got them back.
[ They're kissing too?! That catches her by surprise the most. And somehow, it makes her feel almost angry. It's really just thinly veiled jealousy that Ronan and Adam get to kiss.
She wants to be angry at him. She really does. But the longer she thinks about it, the more she realizes where that anger comes from. And she can't tell him. As much as it is her secret, it's more Gansey's. She can't tell Adam without Gansey. Or before Gansey. Or however he wants to handle it.
Yet that knowledge brings about a sigh from her. Then a nod. And finally: ]
It's about time you two got it together. I didn't expect with each other... but that works better.
[ He'd forgotten how unkind that might sound in the moment of being afraid to tell her. He might regret it later. For now his nerves are too busy fizzing inside of his veins to let him think straight. ]
Neither did I. [ Expect it, he means. ] I mean, it's Ronan. [ Firstly, a boy. Secondly, a boy who likes to fuck with him 90% of the time. ] I didn't plan it. It just --.
[ Happened. Like life does. Adam spreads his palms against his knees helplessly. ]
A softer kind of smile. Maybe even genuine. Mostly genuine. ]
You two deserve it, though. You both deserve something to actually go right.
I hope it works out for you. [ Better than they did. She means that from the bottom of her heart. She does love Adam. Never the way he wanted her to, how she wishes the way he wanted her to. How much easier would their lives have been if she had?
Well his life was less complicated now. At least he knew who he wanted, even had who he wanted. And as jealous as she is of that happiness, she truly wishes it on the both of them. Two of her greatest friends in the world.
She lets out a heavy sigh and relaxes more. ] You scared me with that text. I thought you were going to say you were hurt. Or someone was kidnapped. Or there was a dead body....
[ He offers her the smallest of smiles. ] So the next time there's some drama we can specify if it's the dead body kind of drama.
[ She's not yelling, she's not crying. These are the two kinds of reactions Adam has always envisioned when he thought about admitting that he liked boys instead of girls. The fight or flight instinct is still warring through him. ]
I still --. [ She's still a person he would die for. ] I don't want you to think I don't care.
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[ Adam frowns in confusion and then shakes his head, sharp. ] No --, no. It's ...
[ He jerks his chin up suddenly, because he won't be unkind, he won't be ashamed, not of this, not of who he is now. Neither Blue nor Ronan deserve him being afraid. ] It's Ronan. [ A beat. ] I'm with Ronan.
[ He does sound a little mystified though, like he's never said it out loud and he's still not sure how he got there. ]
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Blue stares for a moment, trying to process several things: Adam's moved on; Adam's with someone; and Ronan and Adam are a couple. ]
When did this happen? [ She's just asking things to fill the air while she tries to think over all the ways she feels about all of this. ]
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[ He's been brave long enough, and so it's time for him to curl into himself a little, his arms across his chest. He's not afraid, not of Blue, but this is the first time he's actually talked about it. ] I knew before that he liked me, I just -- I wasn't sure how I felt about it. [ Because it's Ronan, because he's a boy and he's not the kind of boy Adam had in his world view if he ever entertained the idea. ] We talked when he wasn't here. [ During the kidnapping. ] And I kissed him after. When we got them back.
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She wants to be angry at him. She really does. But the longer she thinks about it, the more she realizes where that anger comes from. And she can't tell him. As much as it is her secret, it's more Gansey's. She can't tell Adam without Gansey. Or before Gansey. Or however he wants to handle it.
Yet that knowledge brings about a sigh from her. Then a nod. And finally: ]
It's about time you two got it together. I didn't expect with each other... but that works better.
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Neither did I. [ Expect it, he means. ] I mean, it's Ronan. [ Firstly, a boy. Secondly, a boy who likes to fuck with him 90% of the time. ] I didn't plan it. It just --.
[ Happened. Like life does. Adam spreads his palms against his knees helplessly. ]
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A softer kind of smile. Maybe even genuine. Mostly genuine. ]
You two deserve it, though. You both deserve something to actually go right.
I hope it works out for you. [ Better than they did. She means that from the bottom of her heart. She does love Adam. Never the way he wanted her to, how she wishes the way he wanted her to. How much easier would their lives have been if she had?
Well his life was less complicated now. At least he knew who he wanted, even had who he wanted. And as jealous as she is of that happiness, she truly wishes it on the both of them. Two of her greatest friends in the world.
She lets out a heavy sigh and relaxes more. ] You scared me with that text. I thought you were going to say you were hurt. Or someone was kidnapped. Or there was a dead body....
It could be anything with us.
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[ He offers her the smallest of smiles. ] So the next time there's some drama we can specify if it's the dead body kind of drama.
[ She's not yelling, she's not crying. These are the two kinds of reactions Adam has always envisioned when he thought about admitting that he liked boys instead of girls. The fight or flight instinct is still warring through him. ]
I still --. [ She's still a person he would die for. ] I don't want you to think I don't care.